Time is ticking! From the moment I stepped foot off the plane in Europe, I've been doomingly (yes, I just made up that adverb) counting down the days till I would get back on that plane and go back where I came from. "This is so sad, I only have eight more months in France..." is what I remember thinking when I got on that first train. And now, mid February, I only have 3 more months left. Just 92 days, to be exact. And while this may seem like an eternity to some, it feels like with just the blink of an eye, five months just whizzed by and I didn't even notice.
By the end of this week, I need to decide if I want to renew my assistantship here. And I've been thinking about it. But everything is so circumstantial. I want to have a French roommate because my French has not really improved all that much this year. I would love to stay in France for another year, but I would like to live in a bigger city (anything but Paris). A city with good public transportation and more than three bars. A place where there's youth and charm and lots of green space. And I would like to be near the mountains. Grenoble would be the perfect fit, but the chances of me getting placed there are slim to none.
But if I do end up doing this again, what exactly am I expecting? Idealistically, I would love it if all of the great friends I made this year abroad would also stay, and we could all just continue this fairytale life we've been living. But that's not going to happen. If I stay here, everything will be different. Including myself.
However, going back to Florida and to my old job seems like a prison sentence. I want change. As much as I love status quo, and as apprehensive as I am about transition and modifying my life in a big way, in the end, I'm always happy experiencing new things.
I randomly started searching for journalism jobs in the States online the other day. I found this one job in north Georgia. The upside: the town's at the foot of the Appalachians, for a small weekly paper known for training young journalists. Rent is cheap. The downside: the population of the town was something like 4,000, and the median age was early 40s. But on the brightside, the town is 3 hours away from 4 or 5 metropolitan cities, including Atlanta and Nashville. Hmm...
I don't know what I want. I don't know where I'll end up. I've been watching too much "Sex and The City" and I feel a quarter-life crisis coming.
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